How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
