Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
