Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
