He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am available for nakedness
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
