its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
