Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
