Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
