theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
