Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
