just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
MIDGETS
????
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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