I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
