remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
