I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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