today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
