I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
