Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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