youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
