we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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