your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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