I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
