i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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