D3 body, D1 cock
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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