i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Less talking, more tequila
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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