I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
