are you still at the devil's house?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
