I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
