I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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