At least make sure they are 18
Why
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
