Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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