Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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