Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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