Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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