Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
