i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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