Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
