You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
