Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
