Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
