The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
