My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
