so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
