Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
