Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
