JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
