Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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