I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
