New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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