You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
