shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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