I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
soo... how was my night?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
