And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
