I want to make a zoo with you.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
