The best revenge is premature balding
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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