will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
